New Seasons

Wow it's been like forever since I've written anything here.  I still journal nearly everyday but in all honesty when my fingertips hit the keys my mind starts running crazy and I just can't get words to flow straight from my mind.  Guess it's the perfectionist in me.  Wanting this to be perfect and wonderful and well accepted.  But the truth is I don't write here expecting anyone to read it so there's no need pretending.  It feels so good to just be me.

My son is back in school today.  Start of his Senior year.  Just gotta say for you younger folks with small people in you're household, when someone says cherish every day and every moment, do listen to them.  It does fly by.  But in a good way.  I don't regret the time passing because each new season has brought me a new level of relationship with my kids.  I wrote in a baby shower card that a moms job is the best.  You get to love the baby, play with the kids, adventure with the teens and gain a friend in the young adults.  Group response was "well maybe not the teens."  Oh please don't go there.  Give yourself and your kids more credit than that.  Yeah you're going to clash a lot but love is so much stronger than any growth curve.  Love every moment.

I've been reading through the book of Acts.  Just a chapter a day.  Finding the authors words a refreshing reality.  It's an understandable depiction of how the days following Christ returning to heaven went.  How the disciples felt and dealt with people of that day.  All the questions and ignorance.  So thankful for all they went through and that they stayed true to God not only for the Bible but for me.  I've learned more in my years (lol, I'm only 42 :) that there's so much more meaning to how we live than just the day to day.  Just think on that for awhile.  It's a big thought.

Fall is just a couple weeks away.  Pumpkin Spice latte's are back, Halloween and fall decorations fill the stores and I smell cinnamon spice pinecones before I even enter several stores.  All these traditions. Now is the time to work hard at not getting caught up in all the advertisements and publicity for the holidays.  Practice makes perfect.  I've been practicing for several years now.  Haha. But really those gimmicks to get you to buy telling you decorations make the season.  Oh dear.  Right now my mind is clear and not brain-washed; so here I go plunging into the season with head held high above the expensive distractions.  There are so many ways to surround yourself with the season without spending a ton of money.  Here are some of my ideas from past experience and present sights.

• Decorate with what your neighborhood farmer throws out.  
• Harvested corn stalks.  
• Hay bales from the feed store.  
• Colorful fall leaves you (and the kids) collect in the park.  
• Did you know Indian corn lasts from year to year?  
• There are some beautiful fall flowers on sale right now too.  
• Oh and back to the fall leaves...take a drive into the country and collect a few colorful branches for a center piece or to lean but the front door.  
• Put pumpkins everywhere.  All colors, sizes and textures.  And they last longer if you paint or draw on them leaving them whole.

Yeah it takes more time to make and create than just grabbing something pre-made at the store but you will feel the season so much more when you take the time to do it yourself.  Add your touch.  And the whole reason for my outlook on seasons and life is to slow down enough to really make a memory you can remember and not just taking another picture on your phone.

It's been so fun having a booth at the Pacific City Farmers Market these past two summers.  Not sure if I'll do it again next year or not.  I've met some wonderful people and have some return customers.  But maybe its time to change it up a bit.  I'd like to grow a little and take the next step in my list towards opening my own small business.  Just got to pin down what that next step actually is.  I've come to the conclusion that I believe God wants me helping people through creativity and nature and I love this opportunity.  Still fine-tuning it and waiting on God's prompting.  It's gradually coming together.  He's getting me to slow down enough to hear Him.  So important to hear Him!

So what does my business dream look like?   I want people to know that life doesn't have to be so overwhelming.  Finding the perfect fix for your ailments is the big deal these days.  But I believe that if people just slowed down and returned to the roots of human nature they'd find a lot of their ailments and stresses would just dissipate naturally with little effort.  So here I am putting together a plan to present calm to struggling individuals just as I've found in my own mis-happened experiences.  I've learned from experience only after a couple break downs, captivity in anxiety, physical weirdnesses and depression take-overs shut me down from really living.  Sounds dramatic I know but why would I want to hold onto such drama just for it to return over and over again.  I know that everyone deals differently...I'm still learning and experimenting myself.  I'm stepping out here looking for opportunities to show people how to slow down and see through new eyes so they can make their own discoveries.  Don't give up yet...help is on the way.

Reality check...being a housewife and mom doesn't mean I get to sit around all day journaling and sharing my dreams.  Each day brings a list of chores and to-do's so here is when I say bye for now until next time.  Thanks for joining me through my thought patterns and daily life happenings.  Have a great day!

Truth Touched

   I'm inspired to share my worship thoughts from this weekend.  Lately I will sit down, open my Bible and journal and then find myself just searching my thoughts along side God; letting him dig into my heart.  But on this morning after journaling with my Bible still closed I felt compelled to ask God to lead me to any page of the Bible He wanted me to read.  Now in all honesty how much in the Bible does God not want us to read...true?  but many will agree with me that some verses are needed in specific moments more than others.  And he will never turn down a chance to teach.  I enjoyed what He took me to and want to share it with you.

Mark 5:24-34
   ...A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. (...inserting my thought here - if God had allowed sooner healing by physicians there would have been no blessing as this in her heart...) When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought  "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
   At once Jesus realized that power had gone out of him He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched me?"
   "You see the people crowding against you?" his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?'"
   But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her "Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

   You've probably read or heard this story before.  I have.  But today I learned a little deeper.  I have been pondering intercessory prayer.  Praying on others behalf.  Learning the words to pray so I can also feel God's goodness in his answers.  Ask specifically you receive specifically.  Asking specifically shows you what to look for when He answers.

                  I am so ignorant to Your amazing power and ability Lord.
                       Ignorant to what is available to me your daughter.

   Truth touched.  All we have to do is reach out and touch the hem of his garment; feel his presence; read his word;  sense him in a moment and he will respond instantly.  Only I'm pretty sure he knew her name and issues before she even walked up to him and same with us.  He's very aware of what we need help with, ready to respond as soon as we show the slightest inkling that we need his help.  We just have to make the first move.
   Intercessory prayer.  Ever given it much thought?  Forever I've ranked it right up there with evangelism, fasting and mission trips.  Meant for someone else with that kind of calling.  But it's not.  (Don't rush to conclusions.  All of the above enrich our faith and everyone can be involved whether they are called or not.  I don't want to turn anyone away from a faith building experience!)  But my point is, God is pleading with us to reach out for dear loved family members and friends so he can reach back.  Truth touched.  We have to make a move.

   I hope you hear God in this.  And not just now but that he will continue to touch your heart and lead you to dig deeper into his whole grace-filled truth.  He is amazing.

Have a joy filled day!

say a prayer

So much to remember and pray for today. People remembering the past...loved ones...tragedy; people feeling alone...loss...reminded how painful it was. 

I pray they are loved today, hugged and smiled at. That they feel peace and know God..... Know God didn't do the damage.... Know He heals. 

I pray they can look forward and see their hope in Heaven!  

Jesus is Love...may you find a "Glory" today! By a "Glory" I mean, see Gods Glory in something or someone knowing its meant for you. Our Father wants the best for us His children. 

:) 

good-morning woodpecker

Sipping green tea while writing this blog.  The computer is having a temperamental day.  Already two issues  but they are at least resolving themselves - so far.  Can't complain - been lucky when it comes to computer issues.  (knocking on wood)

Saw my friendly, early-morning woodpecker again today.  I suspect there are bugs and spiders hidden away at the top of that light pole. He insists on pecking at a pipe that the light is attached to.  I get to see him nearly every day. Thought I would be able to identify him from pictures on the Internet but I've had no luck.  He definitely has red near his chest or maybe it's under his wings you can see when he flys.  Someday I'll figure it out!

My sisters' birthday is this weekend! Yeah!  I wish so that I could go see her!!  Time and expense will keep that from happening this year but will not keep me from making her gift extra special.  I love the creating; and adding all the extra special touches you don't think of unless you sit and ponder.  My mind is running all the time picturing ideas and developing plans for upcoming pleasures.  Anothers' birthday is just such a pleasure for me.  Why people say "oh don't bother, it's just a birthday, nothing special." ?  Why?!?  You're birthday means you were born and having another means you are still alive!  Celebrate it!  Something I heard today inspired this thought...'we need to celebrate being cancer-free!  Why wait till we have cancer or some other devastation to remind us of the value of life?  Live today!'  And that brings me to a new valued thought I've been living daily on.  It's brought meaning to me every day!  Live in the moment!  Celebrate what we have instead of waiting till we don't have it and be spent complaining wishful retaliations.  Superbly more pleasant for all.  There it is!...as plain as day!...my motto for 2013!  And quite possibly for years to come! Live in the moment.  Find all the ways ~ and practice them ~ to live in the moment. 

Absolutely Wonderful!

Here I go...all the things that keep me going and entertaining the possibility of more...to come.

Knitting (of course) 

Gardening

Accomplishment of Organization

Correspondence

Availability

Observation

Meditation

Worship

Learning

Experiencing

Exhilaration

Simplicity

Vintage

Up-cycling

Family

Friends

God

 

See what my foundation is!  It has to be.  Only this way can I truly live in the moment.  He gives me the promise of protection, grace, forgiveness and stability so it's actually possible to let everything else go.  Why He wants all my problems and frustrations is beyond me but I'll give them up anyway.

Amazing Grace!

 

Step out today and experience a moment!

 



 

I was chosen to be helpful!

Today I had the privilege to be in the right place at the right time. 

I am a crossing guard for an elementary school.  The corner I've been placed on often has me wondering if I'm really that necessary.  But over the months people and occasions have changed my mind.  Number one, I am a quick and reliable substitute for the more used locations.  Two I am a cheerful addition to greet neighborhood occupants.  There are a couple ladies I do look forward to seeing...and they're thrilled I've become friends with their dog companions too.  Also regular drivers passing by look for a wave of recognition daily.  And the two kids I cross deserve this extra little bit of attention in their day.  It's good.  It's okay. 
And then today I know having this job has so much more reason than I or anyone else could've imagined.  An elderly lady across the street fell in her carport.  Luckily I was near and could get her blankets and call for an ambulance. I know she and her family were grateful for my helping but I am even more grateful for the opportunity of service.  It means more to me than I even know.  The reward is seeing someone in a distraught and needy situation being comforted because God placed me there!  Wow!  That's beyond words.  He knows all!...what she needed and what I needed.

So, with that, I'm willing to continue at my simple little job position because I know it's not menial to God.
 

Realization

Today's Online Bible Study spoke of tangents or things that control you and your time.  Everyone was talking about Facebook, smart phones, twitter and tv being their hangups.  Guess I don't put much love in those things.  But my deal is A.volunteered time...B. being what 'I believe' everyone wants me to be...and C. providing for my families every want and need!
I ended up depressed and broken.

I brought it all to God many times.  "How do I handle all this?  How do I get people to understand they need to help me?  Where is the money coming from for___?  Help me Lord I'm so overwhelmed!"  And on and on my journal got filled up with complaints and pleas for understanding and solutions.  Somewhere along the line I just gave up.  I quite things and stepped back from the chaos and slid deep into depression.  Not the depression that looses you,  but the self indulged depression where "I might have made the wrong decision and I feel awful even though I'm supposed to feel free".

And then today I read a discussion post that opened my eyes to see God's had me on the right path, unbeknownst to me, for quite some time.  By quitting the extra stuff - leadership, volunteering, working extra outside the home etc...all these tangents-controls over me, without them there, He was slowly able to get to my heart.  I had decided to not add any more to my schedule and haven't but the guilt for not doing them was enormous.  I was letting my idea of how people wanted me to be, get in the way of God talking to me.  All the opportunities I thought were of God were actually getting between us.  Obvious yet not so obvious deception. 

I had to become broken to be blindly led! and now I realize why.  I'm a classic example of 'giving up and letting God'.  I didn't realize it then, but I was blindly following God's prompting.  He gets all the credit for keeping me on track.  Unfortunately, He doesn't always speak through well-meaning family & friends or even your conscience. These got me distracted.  All my interpretations and justifications of how it all was supposed to be were badly misconstrued.

When I gave up, God was finally able to influence me directly.  He sounds so much clearer this way! I still don't have or know all the answers and I'm okay with that because it's called giving God control.  I'm just happy to know that when you give it to God and your not given any answers He's still gonna take care of you.  This feeling washes over me with a such warmth.  And now I'm so thankful to participate in this Online Bible Study (offered by Melissa Taylor). Any time spent learning of God is time well spent.  I don't want my life to be so filled and so complicated ever again that it crowds God out.

monday

This week starts with the memory of a beautiful weekend at the coast.  Still I see in my mind the sun glistening off wet sand and feel heat's radiance thru my jacket...while strolling for shell bits and pieces and unforgettable stones.  Found a few...secured in a sandy pocket.  Still out of the norm from an illness I am in no hurry to anywhere.  A bit of wind.  Seagulls. Sigh.

It's a cold Monday morning.  Sometimes it's hard to awaken to a new week.  I've got kids to keep me motivated and a husband that rely's on me.  Friends that may send a call.  And a belated family Christmas to prep for over the coming weekend.  No time to feel sorrowful or overly thoughtful.  But I can hold these memories close.

Started an online Bible study this week.  Never had this experience before.  So far?  good!  I already see how the discussion blog will be enjoyable and helpful.  The subject hits home.  "Let. It. Go."  I do hold on to so much and feel I'm responsible for ever more.  Overwhelmed much of the time for sure...but undeniably glad for every opportunity! (smile) Already I've read others postings and seen my own thoughts and feelings develop in their words.  We are of kindred spirit and I'm eager to understand myself a little more.  We're learning that control is God's and God's alone.  Never need I take the helm.  Here's a little lesson learned...passed along thru the Bible Study from another source...(source can be stated if anyone is interested).  It's a simple version of theology. 

Dog Theology vs Cat Theology

Dog sees his master come home, jumps up eagerly and says, "I saw you coming home and I became so excited with thoughts of you. You do so much for me.  You feed me.  You walk me.  You care for me and give me bones and treats.  I am so happy when I'm with you!  Wow! I know now that...you must be God!"

then...

Cat sees his master coming home.  He stretches and looks casually at him and says, "I saw you come home and it made me think of all you do for me.  You feed me.  You provide toys and warm soft places for me to sleep.  And it made me realize, I must be God!"

Had to share that.  It was so perfect for this time of thought.  I can either stay going head-long into the world or I can be eager & happy to have my God close-available-caring for me.


I can feel springtime in the air despite the colder temperature this morning.  Purchased a pot of tulips-set on my dining table and to gaze at.  Yes, it's that time of year where we can choose to be pulled down to the depths of cold depression and dark, cloudy thoughts or we can look up and see the beautiful cloud formations; stop to hear the spring-birds chirping songs, and catch the wisps of spring freshness in the air!  It's always good above all our bad.  I choose to be positively in love with my God and His awesomeness!
 

just thinking

 

What a wonderfully wet, semi-cold day it is. Wonderful? Heard from a friend; a stranger stopped to talk while I was cross-guarding; and I've accomplished a couple 'to do' items off my holiday list today. These started my day out with a smile.

Decided to change it up a bit this year for Christmas cards. Every year I make cards to send out to our 40 or so friends and family members. I decided that the card should be useful this year instead of semi interesting and getting tossed. Lately you can find very attractive cards that include an ornament on the front cover, or attached bookmarks or scented sachets. These are my favorite cards. It says the sender really put some thought into you. Sooo, I decided to make ornaments to put on my Christmas cards to make everyone feel extra special this year. So should I say what the ornament is? Haha, I think some of the friends and family recieving from me will read this but that's ok. Anyone who knows me well has come to expect knitting to come up in every conversation. It's definately a hobbie I'll take to Heaven! The ornament is a mini knit sweater possibly embellished with a holiday theme. Still working on the pattern. I have a sweater pattern but it's knit in pieces and I really want to do this fast and right so I'm creating a new pattern for a top down sweater that will be around 4 inches tall. I'm using worsted weight yarn to give it a country-rustic-holiday feel. Minatures are always fun. Embellishments? definately a stitched in design - maybe a star or a tree. Then a tag attached with a fun made for you description. Have you seen those tags and stickers made for scrapbooking that say:

Made of 100% love

2 cups of hugs

sprinkles of kisses

baked with you in mind

I think these tags are simply adorable and reflect back to the whole "put a little extra thought into it for you" theme; this is just perfect. I'm excited to get it going so I know exactly what it will be. I love the design part of Christmas. And the giving too. Now if I can just work on the unlimited budget! (smile)

Mini Christmas Sweater Pattern in progress...

Well, a very merry Tuesday of December to you! And a early Merry Christmas too!

give me questions to ask

So in my struggle to know where I fit into the big picture I reach out to God in my devotions; I know that no matter what path I take, He will always have a purpose for me but I still have anxiety and am perplexed.  This is where He took me today...

Hebrews 12:1, 12-13

Do read the whole 1-13 verses and you'll feel a bigger reality.  I chose these out of all because they were the ones I had to reread to pinpoint why they touched me. 

"Therefore, we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (vs. 1)

"Therefore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.  Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." (vs's 12-13)

This is perfect for my mind.  Put, 'doing it for others' into the equation and it's so much more desireable and meaningful.

So no matter what I choose to do I'm sure God has a reason for me there.  I need to stay true to Him!  I need to stay open to people and situations and schedule changes around me not as hinderances but as opportunities and possibilities. Even when it doesn't seem right...there still are opportunities and possibilities in His plans for you!

It takes a stronge faith to stay in a situation where all seems wrong...and you are asking God "why should I have to deal with this?"  Only from God can our eyes and hearts be opened to the fact that God wants to use us in situations where we are there for someone else and not ourselves and then continue along knowing it's okay.  It's okay to be used by God!

I like taking the weight off of meaningless me and putting it on how I affect others.  God details many desires for us to live by throughout the old and new testaments.  He places examples and reasons and yet we still look at them and think "I'm fine!  I'm different. He'll make an exception in my case."
Wow, how self-centered we humans can be!  Take a second look at the verses above.  "surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses...throw off everthing that hinders...entangles."   "make level paths...so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."  I don't see me being talked about here.  I see God saying to me, "Look around you.  You're not the only one here!  What you do is witnessed by others that haven't felt My Love yet. (great cloud of witnesses).  Others that may be turned away because you are being so careless with your faith.  Others that are being distracted by your interests and entertainment.  (throw off everything that hinders).  Don't give a wrong impression of who I Am because you feel immune to what I teach you in the Bible."  (so the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed).

I don't have to carry the role of being me anymore. 
I can take the role of who God can use me to be.

I don't know about you but for me that sounds so much more appealing. I'm thankful I took a couple extra minutes to open my Bible and read these verses.  If I hadn't read the Bible it wouldn't have been as clear to me.  "There are reasons behind Your advice, Lord!"  I just have to take the steps to figure them out; which makes them all the more reasonable, realistic and wonderful!  I am not immune to sin...and I am not too good for advice from God.

Amen!



   

continuation - a new day

Today is a new day with a continued project.  I was lucky to happen into a 'bushel' of apples and now am continuing into the third day of making applesauce.  I like making 'product' with what nature supplies.  Product that I can shelve and retrieve at random to be enjoyed in the years' cold days.  As I've stood for hours peeling, dicing and cooking my apples thoughts keep pouring through my mind.  I'm a very visual person when in deep thought so these thoughts have almost become reality making me quite anxious for all the new possibilies.  Of course I'm not invincible and have to put aside many such ideas, if not just 'till a future year.  But I admit my heart-strings were recently pulled and now I believe this is what triggered my frame of mind.  I will explain.

I visited an organization that offers a wonderful service to the dear ones in our community.  The name is Family Building Blocks.  I was able to take a tour of their facility and was near tears the entire time present.  They told stories of clients that had come in hopeless and broken but were brought into the program to be taught and healed of past addictions and wounds and then to be led out towards education and unity in their new formed families.  I'm talking about single mothers needing support and teaching, and young addict couples needing direction and a parenting figure.  The teachers work with the children and the parents to form new relationships that are statisticly proven to last.  With lack of any better way to state it - it's beautiful! 

And why is this so on my mind?  I'm still trying to figure that out.  I too have a family I'm focusing on and believe with my whole heart that this is where I am to be...but...am I being pulled towards something else?  Being blessed with simplicity and family and love! is what I look forward to daily. Society makes me struggle to hold onto my family given responsibilities;  it grabs at what I provide and promises an easier day if I let go.  So many people have been sucked into that 'society' lifestyle but I just cannot let go.  The picture is becoming bigger to me!

The bigger picture:
I see the beauty in working in my garden, providing home cooked meals and goodies.  I see the rest in seeing my family healthy and strong from the garden grown and home canned foods; and from the camping trips and outings in mother nature.  And then you can't beat the time spent talking through long driven trips to unknown locations or just sitting around the dinner table where everyone is available and there to listen and talk even if no one wants to or sees the need to.  Presence in so important. 

Now the outer borders of this picture:
God didn't just form families to be self-focused.  He planned communities and churches to be your family extensions. We are told to take care of the sick and homeless and poverty stricken.  We have a responsibility to care for more than just who's right here. That's my bigger picture.  And now I can pull in one of my mind's "visual pictures".  Imagine a link between self-sustaining people in the community and those who are so lost.  Those young single mothers and addicted couples may feel more connection with life and love and God if we were to reach out to them and let them experience our simple lives.  Teach them to bake bread or can applesauce...teach them the reward in going to the park with a child or taking a family walk.  Give them the opportunity to grow a garden.  I suppose it's similar to a child mentor program but instead you're mentoring a family.  And what do you get out of it?  Maybe a bigger family!

It's still in the thought process....it's not exactly easy to see an idea with no experienced plan and then step out on a limb to accomplish it but with the support of my family it can be done.  After all that 'limb' we'll have to step out on is much sturdier than the limb on which the one we reach to help clings. 

Don't figures from speech motivate!

I hope I'm not alone here!


I  

Spiritual Blessing In Christ

Ephesians
Chapter One:Verses 3-14
New International Version


     Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.  For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons  through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will -- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.  And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfullment -- to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
     In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.  And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation.  Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession -- to the praise of his glory.

This is Beautiful!  I had to share it!

Sunshine

The weather is a parable with the daily cloud cover, grey and dismal; dreary, continuous rainfall. We are fine emotionally to start with, it's exciting and scary all at once.  But then we get sucked lower and lower as it never ends.  It becomes the norm and we focus only on our immediate moments. Then a patch of blue opens.  Individual clouds appear forming fluffy white billows along with the dark greys.  And the sun...in it's radiance glints orange and warm-yellows on the mountains, clouds and on yourself.  There you think, "I knew it would return!...Just didn't know when."  It's a relief.  A burden removed.  Uplifting your spirits.

Tis so with Jesus lifting our sorrow, pain and the doldrums of this life.  We bear it awhile struggling...getting lower. Then Jesus steps in and reminds us we can deal because He is there too.  He is always close even when the clouds make Him seem so far away.  But that reviving feeling whether from seeing the sunshine or the Sonshine is absolutely invigorating.  We can survive because of Him!

Raccoon Hat

I was inspired to make a gift for my friends little guy. His imagination is I dramatic and I could see him rushing about in a different imaginary world with this new gift.

A hat. A raccoon hat! One for winter to keep his ears warm. One that could be secured with a knot. Realistic. Fit for a two year old.

So after browsing pictures of raccoons and hats and raccoon hats and refiguring my adult hat pattern I finally accomplished what my mind inspired.

Humility and Last Place

My experience today was while driving the kids to school. Where the lanes merge together becomes a speedway and hotspot for road rage. I was inspired to take the right lane knowing I would need to merge over soon. And yes as the lanes came together car after car rushed by me and I had to slow down to enter last in line. A good lesson in patience and humility for me. But hopefully an example for those rushing by me. Maybe they saw someone not fighting to be first.

So I've decided taking the merging lane option is ok now and again to slow myself down, get my dose of humility and share my deed of service. And when in the fast lane I can let others ahead of me. Do a good deed and someone will see it. Pray that they will be inspired and pass it along!

Thank you Lord! You are inspiring!

You are my Confidence

I've decided that my family tends to question my abilities and decisions and capabilities (such as in driving or organizing) but on the other hand are helpless without me. So maybe when they judge me or challenge me they are questioning themselves and need to use me to learn. I need to stay strong, firm and gentle! Kindly stay assured and let them see my confidence is YOU!

Ministry & Missions Weekend

I had a great weekend with about 250 other people at a Teen Retreat this weekend.  I had two classes thru the weekend.  First one was telling a story thru art by overlaying transparencies to build the story.  They did great!  It is always so inspiring to see their interpretation of what is presented to them.  Second, we learned of different organizations that distribute charity knits, crochets, and quilts.  We focused on Chemo hats, NICU hats, and soldiers hats.  Didn't accomplish a lot of finished projects but the goal was more to get the kids excited about what they can do themselves in their community. And I believe we did just that.  I'll finish up the started hats this week and then include their names on tags for donating. Teens are so fun to work with!

What is this life...

What is this life really about? How can we settle in to this world and feel comfortable? I can't look at my everyday routine and feel at home. With all the hurt and deceit and false pleasures I feel very uneasy. Don't let it get you down when something hurts. I see it as a reminder of why we're here. Look to Christ and his union with His bride the church. The comparison says so much. Our families and friends...relationships, jobs, losses. These are what we live for. They teach us of Christ. They bring us closer to Him and farther from what we've been taught to live as reality. Do you see? We've all heard that in every raindrop there is a rainbow. There really is. We exist to grow close to Jesus and to feel His presense and to see His grace fulfilled in us and in those we touch. I know nothing more enticing and exhuberating than this. I need not another. I need HIM!

Happy Birthday to me!

I love my family. I had such a nice day today. Even the wind and heavy rains were wonderful to me. Reminds me of the winter coastal weather I grew up with.
I realizing that women in their 30's tend to feel like they aren't measuring up to expectations. I'm not the only one? I know I have a wonderful family including two great kids and my loving husband. My friend are genuine and I have talents people appreciate. But I still feel at a loss. Like I'm not contributing in an individualized way. Everyone has an ability that helps people out. What do I have? Ever wonder this? Guess I'll just have to keep growing and living to figure this all out. Never too young or old to learn.

Happy Sabbath

I can see blue through the clouds today. Yoga and jogging to Christmas music woke me up this morning.

What is Christmas Today?

This whole season just feels weird. Unusual weather; sunny 50 degrees out. People wanting our time. Family growing up. Family to take care of. Family personalities to deal with. Time schedule. Expectations. Visitations. So much of it is senseless and emotional. We've lost sight of fellowship and appreciation and reliance and peace. Simplicity and humility. Gratitude. Expectations are too high.
I am grateful for new beginnings.
So again this coming year I will again search out the answer to all my holiday emotional quandaries. The answers are either hidden or so simple they are too obvious. Searching may be taking me farther from the answer I seek.
I pray Lord that you lead and that we do Your birthday Christmas day justice in the plan You have. In You it is ok to not know for you will lead. Thank you, thank you!