New Seasons

Wow it's been like forever since I've written anything here.  I still journal nearly everyday but in all honesty when my fingertips hit the keys my mind starts running crazy and I just can't get words to flow straight from my mind.  Guess it's the perfectionist in me.  Wanting this to be perfect and wonderful and well accepted.  But the truth is I don't write here expecting anyone to read it so there's no need pretending.  It feels so good to just be me.

My son is back in school today.  Start of his Senior year.  Just gotta say for you younger folks with small people in you're household, when someone says cherish every day and every moment, do listen to them.  It does fly by.  But in a good way.  I don't regret the time passing because each new season has brought me a new level of relationship with my kids.  I wrote in a baby shower card that a moms job is the best.  You get to love the baby, play with the kids, adventure with the teens and gain a friend in the young adults.  Group response was "well maybe not the teens."  Oh please don't go there.  Give yourself and your kids more credit than that.  Yeah you're going to clash a lot but love is so much stronger than any growth curve.  Love every moment.

I've been reading through the book of Acts.  Just a chapter a day.  Finding the authors words a refreshing reality.  It's an understandable depiction of how the days following Christ returning to heaven went.  How the disciples felt and dealt with people of that day.  All the questions and ignorance.  So thankful for all they went through and that they stayed true to God not only for the Bible but for me.  I've learned more in my years (lol, I'm only 42 :) that there's so much more meaning to how we live than just the day to day.  Just think on that for awhile.  It's a big thought.

Fall is just a couple weeks away.  Pumpkin Spice latte's are back, Halloween and fall decorations fill the stores and I smell cinnamon spice pinecones before I even enter several stores.  All these traditions. Now is the time to work hard at not getting caught up in all the advertisements and publicity for the holidays.  Practice makes perfect.  I've been practicing for several years now.  Haha. But really those gimmicks to get you to buy telling you decorations make the season.  Oh dear.  Right now my mind is clear and not brain-washed; so here I go plunging into the season with head held high above the expensive distractions.  There are so many ways to surround yourself with the season without spending a ton of money.  Here are some of my ideas from past experience and present sights.

• Decorate with what your neighborhood farmer throws out.  
• Harvested corn stalks.  
• Hay bales from the feed store.  
• Colorful fall leaves you (and the kids) collect in the park.  
• Did you know Indian corn lasts from year to year?  
• There are some beautiful fall flowers on sale right now too.  
• Oh and back to the fall leaves...take a drive into the country and collect a few colorful branches for a center piece or to lean but the front door.  
• Put pumpkins everywhere.  All colors, sizes and textures.  And they last longer if you paint or draw on them leaving them whole.

Yeah it takes more time to make and create than just grabbing something pre-made at the store but you will feel the season so much more when you take the time to do it yourself.  Add your touch.  And the whole reason for my outlook on seasons and life is to slow down enough to really make a memory you can remember and not just taking another picture on your phone.

It's been so fun having a booth at the Pacific City Farmers Market these past two summers.  Not sure if I'll do it again next year or not.  I've met some wonderful people and have some return customers.  But maybe its time to change it up a bit.  I'd like to grow a little and take the next step in my list towards opening my own small business.  Just got to pin down what that next step actually is.  I've come to the conclusion that I believe God wants me helping people through creativity and nature and I love this opportunity.  Still fine-tuning it and waiting on God's prompting.  It's gradually coming together.  He's getting me to slow down enough to hear Him.  So important to hear Him!

So what does my business dream look like?   I want people to know that life doesn't have to be so overwhelming.  Finding the perfect fix for your ailments is the big deal these days.  But I believe that if people just slowed down and returned to the roots of human nature they'd find a lot of their ailments and stresses would just dissipate naturally with little effort.  So here I am putting together a plan to present calm to struggling individuals just as I've found in my own mis-happened experiences.  I've learned from experience only after a couple break downs, captivity in anxiety, physical weirdnesses and depression take-overs shut me down from really living.  Sounds dramatic I know but why would I want to hold onto such drama just for it to return over and over again.  I know that everyone deals differently...I'm still learning and experimenting myself.  I'm stepping out here looking for opportunities to show people how to slow down and see through new eyes so they can make their own discoveries.  Don't give up yet...help is on the way.

Reality check...being a housewife and mom doesn't mean I get to sit around all day journaling and sharing my dreams.  Each day brings a list of chores and to-do's so here is when I say bye for now until next time.  Thanks for joining me through my thought patterns and daily life happenings.  Have a great day!

Truth Touched

   I'm inspired to share my worship thoughts from this weekend.  Lately I will sit down, open my Bible and journal and then find myself just searching my thoughts along side God; letting him dig into my heart.  But on this morning after journaling with my Bible still closed I felt compelled to ask God to lead me to any page of the Bible He wanted me to read.  Now in all honesty how much in the Bible does God not want us to read...true?  but many will agree with me that some verses are needed in specific moments more than others.  And he will never turn down a chance to teach.  I enjoyed what He took me to and want to share it with you.

Mark 5:24-34
   ...A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.  She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. (...inserting my thought here - if God had allowed sooner healing by physicians there would have been no blessing as this in her heart...) When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought  "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
   At once Jesus realized that power had gone out of him He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched me?"
   "You see the people crowding against you?" his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?'"
   But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her "Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

   You've probably read or heard this story before.  I have.  But today I learned a little deeper.  I have been pondering intercessory prayer.  Praying on others behalf.  Learning the words to pray so I can also feel God's goodness in his answers.  Ask specifically you receive specifically.  Asking specifically shows you what to look for when He answers.

                  I am so ignorant to Your amazing power and ability Lord.
                       Ignorant to what is available to me your daughter.

   Truth touched.  All we have to do is reach out and touch the hem of his garment; feel his presence; read his word;  sense him in a moment and he will respond instantly.  Only I'm pretty sure he knew her name and issues before she even walked up to him and same with us.  He's very aware of what we need help with, ready to respond as soon as we show the slightest inkling that we need his help.  We just have to make the first move.
   Intercessory prayer.  Ever given it much thought?  Forever I've ranked it right up there with evangelism, fasting and mission trips.  Meant for someone else with that kind of calling.  But it's not.  (Don't rush to conclusions.  All of the above enrich our faith and everyone can be involved whether they are called or not.  I don't want to turn anyone away from a faith building experience!)  But my point is, God is pleading with us to reach out for dear loved family members and friends so he can reach back.  Truth touched.  We have to make a move.

   I hope you hear God in this.  And not just now but that he will continue to touch your heart and lead you to dig deeper into his whole grace-filled truth.  He is amazing.

Have a joy filled day!

say a prayer

So much to remember and pray for today. People remembering the past...loved ones...tragedy; people feeling alone...loss...reminded how painful it was. 

I pray they are loved today, hugged and smiled at. That they feel peace and know God..... Know God didn't do the damage.... Know He heals. 

I pray they can look forward and see their hope in Heaven!  

Jesus is Love...may you find a "Glory" today! By a "Glory" I mean, see Gods Glory in something or someone knowing its meant for you. Our Father wants the best for us His children. 

:) 

good-morning woodpecker

Sipping green tea while writing this blog.  The computer is having a temperamental day.  Already two issues  but they are at least resolving themselves - so far.  Can't complain - been lucky when it comes to computer issues.  (knocking on wood)

Saw my friendly, early-morning woodpecker again today.  I suspect there are bugs and spiders hidden away at the top of that light pole. He insists on pecking at a pipe that the light is attached to.  I get to see him nearly every day. Thought I would be able to identify him from pictures on the Internet but I've had no luck.  He definitely has red near his chest or maybe it's under his wings you can see when he flys.  Someday I'll figure it out!

My sisters' birthday is this weekend! Yeah!  I wish so that I could go see her!!  Time and expense will keep that from happening this year but will not keep me from making her gift extra special.  I love the creating; and adding all the extra special touches you don't think of unless you sit and ponder.  My mind is running all the time picturing ideas and developing plans for upcoming pleasures.  Anothers' birthday is just such a pleasure for me.  Why people say "oh don't bother, it's just a birthday, nothing special." ?  Why?!?  You're birthday means you were born and having another means you are still alive!  Celebrate it!  Something I heard today inspired this thought...'we need to celebrate being cancer-free!  Why wait till we have cancer or some other devastation to remind us of the value of life?  Live today!'  And that brings me to a new valued thought I've been living daily on.  It's brought meaning to me every day!  Live in the moment!  Celebrate what we have instead of waiting till we don't have it and be spent complaining wishful retaliations.  Superbly more pleasant for all.  There it is!...as plain as day!...my motto for 2013!  And quite possibly for years to come! Live in the moment.  Find all the ways ~ and practice them ~ to live in the moment. 

Absolutely Wonderful!

Here I go...all the things that keep me going and entertaining the possibility of more...to come.

Knitting (of course) 

Gardening

Accomplishment of Organization

Correspondence

Availability

Observation

Meditation

Worship

Learning

Experiencing

Exhilaration

Simplicity

Vintage

Up-cycling

Family

Friends

God

 

See what my foundation is!  It has to be.  Only this way can I truly live in the moment.  He gives me the promise of protection, grace, forgiveness and stability so it's actually possible to let everything else go.  Why He wants all my problems and frustrations is beyond me but I'll give them up anyway.

Amazing Grace!

 

Step out today and experience a moment!

 



 

I was chosen to be helpful!

Today I had the privilege to be in the right place at the right time. 

I am a crossing guard for an elementary school.  The corner I've been placed on often has me wondering if I'm really that necessary.  But over the months people and occasions have changed my mind.  Number one, I am a quick and reliable substitute for the more used locations.  Two I am a cheerful addition to greet neighborhood occupants.  There are a couple ladies I do look forward to seeing...and they're thrilled I've become friends with their dog companions too.  Also regular drivers passing by look for a wave of recognition daily.  And the two kids I cross deserve this extra little bit of attention in their day.  It's good.  It's okay. 
And then today I know having this job has so much more reason than I or anyone else could've imagined.  An elderly lady across the street fell in her carport.  Luckily I was near and could get her blankets and call for an ambulance. I know she and her family were grateful for my helping but I am even more grateful for the opportunity of service.  It means more to me than I even know.  The reward is seeing someone in a distraught and needy situation being comforted because God placed me there!  Wow!  That's beyond words.  He knows all!...what she needed and what I needed.

So, with that, I'm willing to continue at my simple little job position because I know it's not menial to God.
 

Realization

Today's Online Bible Study spoke of tangents or things that control you and your time.  Everyone was talking about Facebook, smart phones, twitter and tv being their hangups.  Guess I don't put much love in those things.  But my deal is A.volunteered time...B. being what 'I believe' everyone wants me to be...and C. providing for my families every want and need!
I ended up depressed and broken.

I brought it all to God many times.  "How do I handle all this?  How do I get people to understand they need to help me?  Where is the money coming from for___?  Help me Lord I'm so overwhelmed!"  And on and on my journal got filled up with complaints and pleas for understanding and solutions.  Somewhere along the line I just gave up.  I quite things and stepped back from the chaos and slid deep into depression.  Not the depression that looses you,  but the self indulged depression where "I might have made the wrong decision and I feel awful even though I'm supposed to feel free".

And then today I read a discussion post that opened my eyes to see God's had me on the right path, unbeknownst to me, for quite some time.  By quitting the extra stuff - leadership, volunteering, working extra outside the home etc...all these tangents-controls over me, without them there, He was slowly able to get to my heart.  I had decided to not add any more to my schedule and haven't but the guilt for not doing them was enormous.  I was letting my idea of how people wanted me to be, get in the way of God talking to me.  All the opportunities I thought were of God were actually getting between us.  Obvious yet not so obvious deception. 

I had to become broken to be blindly led! and now I realize why.  I'm a classic example of 'giving up and letting God'.  I didn't realize it then, but I was blindly following God's prompting.  He gets all the credit for keeping me on track.  Unfortunately, He doesn't always speak through well-meaning family & friends or even your conscience. These got me distracted.  All my interpretations and justifications of how it all was supposed to be were badly misconstrued.

When I gave up, God was finally able to influence me directly.  He sounds so much clearer this way! I still don't have or know all the answers and I'm okay with that because it's called giving God control.  I'm just happy to know that when you give it to God and your not given any answers He's still gonna take care of you.  This feeling washes over me with a such warmth.  And now I'm so thankful to participate in this Online Bible Study (offered by Melissa Taylor). Any time spent learning of God is time well spent.  I don't want my life to be so filled and so complicated ever again that it crowds God out.

monday

This week starts with the memory of a beautiful weekend at the coast.  Still I see in my mind the sun glistening off wet sand and feel heat's radiance thru my jacket...while strolling for shell bits and pieces and unforgettable stones.  Found a few...secured in a sandy pocket.  Still out of the norm from an illness I am in no hurry to anywhere.  A bit of wind.  Seagulls. Sigh.

It's a cold Monday morning.  Sometimes it's hard to awaken to a new week.  I've got kids to keep me motivated and a husband that rely's on me.  Friends that may send a call.  And a belated family Christmas to prep for over the coming weekend.  No time to feel sorrowful or overly thoughtful.  But I can hold these memories close.

Started an online Bible study this week.  Never had this experience before.  So far?  good!  I already see how the discussion blog will be enjoyable and helpful.  The subject hits home.  "Let. It. Go."  I do hold on to so much and feel I'm responsible for ever more.  Overwhelmed much of the time for sure...but undeniably glad for every opportunity! (smile) Already I've read others postings and seen my own thoughts and feelings develop in their words.  We are of kindred spirit and I'm eager to understand myself a little more.  We're learning that control is God's and God's alone.  Never need I take the helm.  Here's a little lesson learned...passed along thru the Bible Study from another source...(source can be stated if anyone is interested).  It's a simple version of theology. 

Dog Theology vs Cat Theology

Dog sees his master come home, jumps up eagerly and says, "I saw you coming home and I became so excited with thoughts of you. You do so much for me.  You feed me.  You walk me.  You care for me and give me bones and treats.  I am so happy when I'm with you!  Wow! I know now that...you must be God!"

then...

Cat sees his master coming home.  He stretches and looks casually at him and says, "I saw you come home and it made me think of all you do for me.  You feed me.  You provide toys and warm soft places for me to sleep.  And it made me realize, I must be God!"

Had to share that.  It was so perfect for this time of thought.  I can either stay going head-long into the world or I can be eager & happy to have my God close-available-caring for me.


I can feel springtime in the air despite the colder temperature this morning.  Purchased a pot of tulips-set on my dining table and to gaze at.  Yes, it's that time of year where we can choose to be pulled down to the depths of cold depression and dark, cloudy thoughts or we can look up and see the beautiful cloud formations; stop to hear the spring-birds chirping songs, and catch the wisps of spring freshness in the air!  It's always good above all our bad.  I choose to be positively in love with my God and His awesomeness!